"Abreu for Marco Scutaro and a pack of 1987 Donruss? You've got yourself a deal!"

Normally the occasional cool breeze that blows through Philadelphia during the muggy midsummer months, carrying the aroma of greasy cheesesteaks hot of the grill through the neighborhoods of South Philly and Old City and on down the Main Line, is a welcome respite from the heat and humidity.

But this summer, on the heels of another disappointing 76ers season and smack dab in the middle of a disastrous year at Citizens Bank Park, it’s the trade winds blowing through the City of Brotherly Love. And instead of the smell of melting cheese wiz, seared steak and freshly baked Amoroso’s, the stench of past failure is pervading a city on the brink of dealing two of its biggest stars.

For the better part of three decades, Philadelphia sports executives have almost exclusively been the type of people you want to have in your fantasy leagues. They sell low, buy high, and never get a return on an investment. Need to get rid of an underachiever? Call up the Phillies. Looking to add a star for 50 cents on the dollar? Get the Sixers on the phone! It’s Let’s Make a Deal, and Philadelphia sports teams are always ready to trade cash and a new car for what’s behind Door #3.

The cover boys for this year’s sales catalogue are Phillies outfielder Bobby Abreu and Sixers guard Allen Iverson. The two have combined to play in nine All-Star games in their careers, and both are easily the most talked-about names on the trade market in their respective sports.

So with all the hype surrounding the possible trades of two legitimate stars, Philly sports fans should be expecting a huge cache of future stars heading their way in return, right? Um, don’t count on it.

For the past few decades, Philly has run the gamut of bad trades:

There’s the old three-quarters-for-a-dollar trade. In 1992, the 76ers decided to part ways with embattled superstar Charles Barkley, shipping the All-Star to Phoenix for Jeff Hornacek, Andrew Lang and Tim Perry. The thinking behind this trade is obvious: Any time you can get a lanky, white shooting guard and two spare parts for a future hall-of-famer, you have to make that deal. Think about it this way: It’s sort of like dumping your super-hot girlfriend who you fight with constantly, going to Drinkers, shotgunning PBR for two hours, then picking up three skanks and having an orgy. You’ll feel awful about the whole thing in the morning, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Then there’s the famed disgruntled-superstar-demands-a-trade-after- management-refuses-to-treat-him-with-any-respect deal. Being as management in Philly is almost exclusively oblivious to how a sports team is run, these trades are common. But none has proved quite so rewarding for the Philly faithful as the trade that sent All-Star third baseman Scott Rolen to St. Louis. Sure, all the Phillies got in return was Placido Polanco, Bud Smith and Mike Timlin, but at least it freed up third base for David Bell.

Of course, Philadelphia has even perfected the opposite of the disgruntled-superstar trade. In 2000, the Flyers simply refused to let Eric Lindros play after he criticized team doctors, then traded barbs with GM Bobby Clarke in the media. What followed was a season-long circus that rivaled the Eagles-vs.-Terrell Owens controversy locally. Clarke finally dealt Lindros to the division rival New York Rangers the following summer for Jan Hlavac, Kim Johnsson and Pavel Brendl, none of whom developed into stars under the Flyers’ watch.

There have been the five-for-one deals (Julio Franco and four others for Von Hayes in 1982), throwing-away-a-prospect deals (Ryne Sandberg to the Cubs, also in 1982), and the overvaluing-other-teams’-prospects deals (Curt Schilling to Arizona for a bucket of balls in 2000). Philly has added superstars who haven’t produced (Chris Webber in 2005) and dealt superstars who went on to post MVP-caliber numbers elsewhere (Jim Thome this season).

You name it, and it’s happened in Philadelphia sports. From Ed Wade to Bobby Clarke to Billy King, it’s been nearly 30 years since a Philadelphia sports team had an executive who wouldn’t be swindled by a guy in a polyester suit selling used Hondas.

So the question becomes, why should Philadelphia be excited about the trading frenzy about to ensue?

Maybe it is simply time for Abreu and Iverson to go. Maybe they have worn out their welcome in the City of Brotherly Love, as so many have before them. Maybe Philly would rather lose with players the city can embrace than underachieve with players who have been underachieving for years.

The problem is, however, Abreu and Iverson aren’t the problem. The rush to trade two of Philadelphia’s premier players for next to nothing is like divorcing your wife and begging her to take the house and kids.

Abreu is certainly no fan favorite at this point. His lackadaisical approach, hefty contract and declining production since last year’s All-Star game have made him the poster child for a Phillies team that failed to meet expectations more often than Freddie Mitchell. But Abreu is still a star, and the chances of the Phillies receiving anything other than a token minor leaguer and a check with a few zeroes on it are slim.

The Phillies have made no secret of their desire to rid themselves of Abreu’s contract, and perhaps that’s the right move. But the problem is, they now have no leverage. The teams that can afford to pay Abreu are minimal as it is, but by showing their hand before making the deal, the Phils have only managed to lower the going rate on a player who should be one of the biggest names being dangled at the trading deadline.

When Ed Wade was forced to deal Rolen in 2002, the rest of the league knew the Phillies had to make a deal. The offers were minimal, and Wade settled for two spare parts and a young lefty with arm trouble. Timlin was gone after the ’02 season, Polanco was relegated to too much bench duty and is now playing well for first-place Detroit, and Smith never threw a pitch in a Phillies’ uniform.

Two years earlier, Wade pulled off a similar miracle, trading Schilling to Arizona for a collection of stiffs. While Schilling went on to help both the Diamondbacks and Red Sox win a World Series, the Phillies’ take amounted to one All-Star appearance from starter Vicente Padilla. Oh, and by the way, they dealt Padilla to Texas for Ricardo Rodriguez after the 2005 season. So far, Rodriguez has yet to pitch in Philly, while Padilla has racked up 10 wins for the Rangers.

And it will be more of the same when the Phillies deal Abreu. Despite failing to produce even one consistent pitcher from their own organization since Robin Roberts, the Phillies will be content to forego acquiring solid prospects to simply rid themselves of a solid ballplayer. Somewhere, Brian Cashman is rubbing his hands and giggling maniacally.

And what about Iverson? There isn’t a player in the NBA who plays harder night in and night out. While the fans have clearly turned on Abreu, Iverson is Philadelphia – or at least he should be. Iverson is everything Philly fans criticize Abreu for not being. He hustles, he’s brutally honest with the media, and he puts up numbers consistently. When the game’s on the line, no one wants the ball more than A.I.

But in a city that hasn’t won a championship in a pro sport since 1983, simply wanting to win isn’t enough. The bottom line is, Iverson hasn’t made the Sixers a winner, and now the city thinks it’s time for him to go.

As the old saying goes, those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And in Philadelphia’s case, history repeats itself almost annually.

But eventually, Philadelphia has to wonder if the problem has been that every superstar athlete to call the city home has been flawed or, just maybe, the reasons for Philly’s failures lie elsewhere.

The Phillies and Sixers will continue to market Abreu and Iverson more aggressively than “SportsCenter” pushes ESPN Mobile, and it won’t change the simple fact that, once they’re gone, Philly sports will be further from a championship, not closer. In a city that’s hungrier for a winner than a drunken Drexel sophomore is for a cheesesteak after last call, it seems hard to believe that another rebuilding effort is the answer.

Maybe the Phillies can add a future Cy Young winner by dealing Abreu and build around Chase Utley and Ryan Howard for the next few seasons. And maybe the Sixers get some cap relief and a solid draft pick for Iverson, setting them up for success a few years down the line. Maybe.

But haven’t we all heard this story before? And sadly, it always ends the same way.

David Hale is a senior editor and columnist for Atomic Sports Media. He also covers SEC football for The Albany (Ga.) Herald. He enjoys long walks on the beach, dry martinis and German techno. He is currently working on a screenplay for "Weekend at Bernie's III" and can be reached at david.hale@atomicsportsmedia.com.

© Copyright by Atomic Sports Media, Inc.

Top of Page