College basketball office pools are at an all-time high. Nearly everyone is doing them. But not ASM writer Matthew Shantz. He believes the road to finding true serenity takes you nowhere near the Final Four.
On Thursday morning, the ribbon was officially cut on the 67th annual NCAA men’s basketball tournament as the first game tipped off. For many college hoops junkies, however, the most important aspect of March Madness began in late February as they discussed and debated the logistics of their official tournament pools.
Things get even more frantic on selection Sunday as the tournament field is announced and the previously designated couriers hustle to have brackets printed in time for the water-cooler meetings Monday morning.
From those who drop $150 on the ESPN Full Court package to the casual fan that catches only the highlights on the late local news, it appears that everyone participates in one pool or another these days.
From the white collar world of Wall Street traders to a bluer collar tint of Wal-Mart greeters, there is a pool in every office – from the corner skyscraper office to right inside its electronic sliding doors.
In fact, at this point, it might be easier to avoid filing taxes then it is to avoid dissecting the tournament bracket. Not since high school has there been so much peer pressure to take part in a popular pastime.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of reasons to participate in a tourney pool. They range from a potentially profitable monetary reward to an oversized plastic trophy; from valuable bragging rights to elevation of your status to revered cult-like office icon.
Notably, there are also reasons to take a pass on playing the role of March fortune teller. The most glaring is being torn about which team to cheer for. The minute you complete your bracket by predicting the tiebreaking championship game score, you kill a large part of the tiny sports fan inside yourself. At least for this most mad of months.
Even as your heart tells you to pull for the 14 over 3 upset, your brain is saying:
“Stop being such a wimp. You picked the better team to win, and rightly so. If you want to be sensitive turn off the game, put on your jammies, pop Sex in the City season three into the DVD player, open up a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and get to it.”
Now before you get too upset at your brain and do something you might regret, stop and think for a second. This predicament can’t be blamed on your cranium, but rather squarely on yourself. You consciously picked up the bracket. It was you who handed an Andrew Jackson to the pool treasurer. And you were the genius who sold your soul by picking a power conference team over your alma mater.
Unspeakable sins such as this can be prompted only by the seduction of the perfect bracket. Or a bracket close enough to perfection to crown you office champion. (Not to mention that whopping $10,000 for the one lucky winner of ESPN’s Tournament Challenge.)
Undoubtedly in the minority, I believe tournament pools take the adventure and romance out of the tournament. You find yourself swearing your allegiance to the perennial coastal powerhouse instead of giving your heart to the Midwestern underdog.
The only remedy for that sick feeling you get while cheering for a team you despise: swearing off tournament pools.
There aren’t patches or pills, and to my knowledge there is no gum that can help you give up the addiction that is the office pool. It must be done cold turkey. And the road to recovery won’t be easy.
Each March you will be swarmed by co-workers, family and friends tempting you away from your righteous path of freedom. You must not be swayed: stay focused on the goal, for it is a goal worth reaching. Peace. Watching the NCAA Tournament in peace.
Matthew Shantz is a student at the University of Nebraska at Omaha who spends as much time following sports as his wife will allow. Comments, questions, suggestions and anything else can be sent to matt.shantz@atomicsportsmedia.com.