Literary critics estimate that there have been more journal articles and scholarly analysis written on the works of William Shakespeare than any other source.  And rightfully so, as there is much to be learned through the study of brilliance in all its forms. 

Perhaps one area of genius that has been understudied is that of amateurish celebrity athlete product endorsement.  And just as William Shakespeare casts an enormous shadow across all of literature, perhaps no figure looms larger in this burgeoning field than Shaquille O'Neal. 

O'Neal established himself as a special talent with his promising Reebok and Pepsi work in the early 1990s.  But his greatness was not cemented until his trilogy of Burger King, Radio Shack, and Icy Hot commercials – a trio which experts consider the Henry V, Henry VI, and Henry VII of the genre – hit the airwaves over a decade later.      

Because more study and research is needed to draw out the full thespian luminosity of Shaquille O'Neal and his peers, I have dutifully founded the Royal Shaqspeare Company.  The goal of the RSC is to keep modern audiences in touch with contemporary amateurish celebrity product endorsement achievement.  My first act as the head chair of this prestigious society was to commission enhanced study of three particularly radiant examples.     

The first undertaking involved a shining series of advertisements that played to delighted audiences each Saturday morning during what historians now refer to as "The Saved by the Bell Era."  The narrator of these spots, one Randy "Macho Man" Savage, implored an entire generation to snap in to a Slim Jim. 

It was a stirring and passionate plea unlike anything voiced since Browning or Coleridge.  And while perhaps his predecessors communicated heartfelt desire more eloquently, Savage offered an equally poignant portrait of an artist at unrest.  Admittedly, the sage in the glittery cowboy hat could not process his feelings like the pre-Victorian poets, but he did know how to process meat into snack sticks – which were available to all who would simply heed his earnest words.

The second scope of the RSC's study involved uncovering the parallels between Greek tragedy and Terry Bradshaw's portfolio of 1-800-COLLECT masterpieces.  Bradshaw was very much an oracle, illustrating the cataclysmic misfortune that would befall anyone who did not dial down the middle.  Many saw Bradshaw as asinine, others saw Aristotle.  A strong supporting cast of Mike Piazza, Carrot Top, and Alf helped bring credibility and depth to the long running spots. 

One of the dominant themes in Othello unfolds as the eponymous character searches for equality among a class and a race that will not accept him.  Craig "Iron Head" Hayward's groundbreaking Zest commercial offers striking parallels. 

Where Othello's love of a forbidden woman (Desdemona) infuriates his enemies, it is Iron Head's love of liquid soap (and that thingy) which alienates him from his peers.  And in an obvious nod to Elizabethan theatre, Iron Head's Zest commercial unfolds almost exclusively in dramatic soliloquy.    

While a more in-depth presentation of the RSC's initial findings will be available in journal form early next year, expect an immediate wave of published work from other sources. 

A team of professors from the University of Chicago claim to have uncovered significant data from Michael Jordan's Ballpark Franks ad; a PHD candidate from Marquette will soon complete a dissertation that chronicles Bob Uecker's substantial contributions to the field; and the film department at University of California-Berkley will present John Madden with a distinguished achievement award for his work with Tough Actin' Tinactin in June.