My wet feet and back were covered in freshly cut grass. I took my mark and sprinted down the slight embankment and dove onto a soap-covered black piece of plastic 75 feet long. And, after quick trip, came to an abrupt stop as I hit the damp grass.
       
Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re to old to go rippin’ down a slip-and-slide.
       
As the weather warmed up this past weekend up, so did the world of sports. The NBA playoffs are winding down, baseball is in
full swing, Barry Bonds hit No. 715, and Sam Hornish Jr. won the Indy 500 by the second smallest margin in its history.        
       
But there is one huge problem — I couldn’t care less. While many were glued to the television set soaking it all in, I was at the local Tractor Supply Company dropping 60 bucks on all the plastic I could get my hands on.

We are suffering through what I like to call the summer slowdown. It’s usually this time of the year that completely makes me think I’ve gone into the wrong line of work – a sportswriter who apparently has no interest in sports.
       
Baseball is boring and round ball is only fun if Lebron James is
hoopin’ it up. It seems my summer has been reduced to homemade slip-and-slides and watching women’s sand volleyball on the tube.
        
I’m not even a fair-weather fan of summer sports — not even a
95-degree, blue-sky, no-humidity, paradise-weather fan. Unless, of course, they involve bikinis.
        
So the real question is what do I know to pass the time? I can’t be the only one who suffers from this nasty summer-slowdown-itis, so I’ll pass along my secret.
       
Think football. Think about the smell of fresh cut grass, crisp, cool air and the glow of lights raining down onto the field. Think Big
Ten football.
        
Granted, my allegiances will not allow for pure objectivity, but it’s an editorial, and I thrive in the world of subjectivity. Yet another reason why my life as a sports journalist may be short-lived.         
      
So here in all its glory is a my college football Big Ten preview and how they’ll finish... and yes, I realize the sport is still three months away but, c’mon folks, this is like therapy.

1. Ohio State
        
There is a good possibility that the Bucks may get quite the look in some preseason polls this year. Ohio State finished last season with seven straight wins including a convincing Fiesta Bowl rout of Notre Dame. I’m not thrilled with the talk of a preseason No. 1 rating. The last thing the Buckeyes need is another target on their backs. Too many holes on defense and an unpredictable offense may be the recipe for a disappointing season in Columbus. But, if all goes well, Ohio State has the firepower to run the table and make a strong bid at a National Championship.

Make or break: Michigan
Gnarliest road game: at Texas
Gimme Game: Northern Illinois

2. Wisconsin
        
Barry Alvarez is gone but don’t let that fool ya. The Badgers don’t have to play the Buckeyes, they will be forced to go to
Michigan, but it will be early in the season (Michigan has struggled in the early season), and gets Penn State at home. That, coupled with the fact that their non-conference schedule includes San
Diego State, Western Illinois and Buffalo, should lead to a strong finish in the Big Ten. On a sidenote: props to Wisconsin for traveling to a MAC school (at Bowling Green), it’s good for the sport.

Make or Break: Minnesota
Gnarliest Road Game: at Michigan
Gimme Game: Buffalo

3. Michigan
        
I really hate to rank that School Up North this high up but, Michigan is Michigan and they will always feel the love from the poll voters. Michigan struggled early on last season but turned it on to almost upset the Bucks in the final week of the season and finish fourth in the conference. Really though, UM is on the decline and it may have another rough year, but mutual respect places its chances at No. 3 in the conference this year.

Make or Break: Notre Dame
Gnarliest Road Game: at Ohio State
Gimme Game: Ball State

4. Penn State
        
No I’m not high and yes I’m dropping the defending co-Big Ten champs to No. 4. I’ve said it all along that Joe Pa should have retired last year because then he would have gone out on top. PSU has some young talent, but last year’s team was just fate. Too many big losses means the Nittany Lions will experience another lackluster year that was becoming the norm in State College.

Make or Break: at Wisconsin
Gnarliest Road Game: at Notre Dame
Gimme Game: Youngstown State

5. Iowa
        
Iowa is one of those teams that is constantly in the middle of the Big Ten pack. Two years ago it laid a hurtin’ on Ohio State and went on to take a share of the conference title. This year will be a lot like last year; a mediocre year with maybe one big win and no real headlines.

Make or Break: Ohio State
Gnarliest Road Game: at Michigan
Gimme Game: Montana

6. Northwestern
        
Northwestern has made a real improvement over the years. I remember when I was growing up, I used to hate when Ohio State played the Wildcats because it usually meant the game would be out of hand by halftime, but that's not that case anymore. Their offense is fun to watch, and they can light up the scoreboard. But the fact that they can’t keep their opponent out of the end zone means they’ll finish a bit over .500 in the league this season. The Wildcats are also traveling to a MAC school this season.

Make or Break: Wisconsin
Gnarliest Road Game: at Michigan
Gimme Game: New Hampshire

7. Purdue
       
The Boilermakers had such high hopes last season and saw them all go flushing down the toilet. Purdue was expected to finish the season with around nine wins and easily take a share of the conference title as they played neither Ohio State nor Michigan. Instead, Purdue finished 5-6 (3-5 Big Ten). This year, history repeats itself.

Make or Break: Wisconsin
Gnarliest Road Game: at Notre Dame
Gimme Game: Indiana State

8. Minnesota
        
Lawrence Maroney is gone, and he took with him the Gophers go-to offensive threat. But on the bright side, there is a plan to build a stadium on campus at Minnesota and finally the put Gophers where they belong: outside in the elements. They also have the balls to travel to Kent State (MAC) which, as I’ve said before, is good for the sport.
        
Make or Break: Penn State
Gnarliest Road Game: at Ohio State
Gimme Game: Temple

9. Michigan State
        
Michigan State has become the ultimate Big Ten choke artists. It loads up on easy non-conference games (i.e. Idaho, Eastern
Michigan) cruises to a solid record and climbs the polls, then runs into the buzz saw known as the Big Ten conference.

Make or Break: Ohio State
Gnarliest Road Game: at Michigan
Gimme Game: Illinois

10/11 Indiana/Illinois
       
If the Big Ten had a junior varsity league, these would be the two teams that would be in it. That’s gonna change someday, as they both have good new head coaches, but the change will be slow. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Until then, Illinois and Indiana will be the breather on the schedule that every team looks forward to. The fans, not so much.

Big Ten JV Conference championship is October 7 in Champaign,
Ill.  My prediction, Indiana by 17

The truth is, last year eight of the 11 teams in the Big Ten finished
.500 or better in the conference and things will probably be just as tough this year. Predicting the league in the middle of the summer is tough, but a therapeutic crap shoot.

Jim Field is a contributing writer for Atomic Sports Media. He is a staff writer for Uweekly, published every Wednesday on the Ohio State University campus. You can reach him at James.Field@atomicsportsmedia.com.