Philly's Phailures
http://www.atomicsportsmedia.com/articles/59/1/Phillys-Phailures.html
Dave McElwee
By Dave McElwee
Published on 01/22/2006
Sports are our solace, our respite from reality. They provide us with an exciting, entertaining and often emotional way to fill our free time (and perhaps a few lazy afternoons at work). Rooting for your favorite teams can be an immensely rewarding experience. Unless you're from Philadelphia, as Dave McElwee explains.
I really enjoy a good road trip.
And to be sure, I’ve been on a number of them over the years. Some as simple as quick jaunts to New York or Baltimore or DC from my former home outside of Philadelphia. Others like the one I made a few years back across the country, and yet others that really are meant to be discussed at another time and another place. And for the most part, they’ve been entertaining. If it serves a purpose like traveling toward a weekend of fun, or if perhaps I’m hired to run a tractor trailer full of beer across county lines with a pesky sheriff in hot pursuit, well, I’m all about it.
But there are also plenty of types of road trips that we all hate. The one where your job makes you drive two hours each way for another policies conference. Or any trip to the mall at Christmas. Or a trip across town in Los Angeles.
And that all got me to thinking. You know that feeling you get right before having to go on one of those dreaded road trips? That you-know-you-can’t-get-out-of-it-no-matter-how-many-different-excuses-you-come-up-with feeling? You know you’re stuck, and you have to begrudgingly push through the next few hours knowing the end result will likely be nothing more than a brief pause before you turn around to do it all over again.
Well, that’s how I feel about being a Philadelphia sports fan. The way I’ve felt the past two decades is no different than getting a call from your boss Sunday night telling you to pack your bags, ’cause you’re headed to the middle of nowhere on Monday with the annoying guy from Logistics. You are going on that trip, the guy from Logistics is going to talk your ear off, and you know there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
And here’s why: My grand kids will be invited to spring training before any of the four major sports teams in Philadelphia win a title. Yet I still keep watching and writing articles and buying jerseys. And there is nothing I can do about it.
Let’s look at the usual suspects:
The Philadelphia 76ers
The 76ers will absolutely, hands down, unequivocally, I’m not kidding you, I-wish-they-had-lines-for-betting-against-teams-to-win-it-all-in-Vegas, never, ever, never win an NBA Championship with Allen Iverson.
And you know what? That really sucks, because I LOVE A.I. Love him. Would wear corn rows and that cool arm sleeve if I wouldn’t be tempted to punch myself in the face afterwards. It’s just that his style of play will win only if he is teamed with a rugged big man who doesn’t need the ball. And those guys simply don’t exist anymore. Iverson needs to take 25 shots per night to produce, and again, I’m ok with that. It’s like the guy who needs to talk to 10 girls before buying one a drink. Some people just need to warm up. But if you lack a rebounding, shot-blocking, outlet-passing presence in the paint, teams will do exactly what they do now to Iverson: Let him score 40, hold everyone else to 40 and win the game.
On a side note, I hope and pray he retires no later than 36. If you thought Michael Jordan looked pitiful playing when the game had passed him by, can you even imagine Allen once that third step (he’s just getting out of his first-step quickness, and that second gear won’t hold up too much longer) is gone? Once he looses the ability to create shots…well, I don’t even want to think about it.
The Philadelphia Phillies
In an AP announcement a few weeks back, the Frillies clocked in at (ooh, how convenient) fifth in the Major Leagues in total team salary. FIFTH. And where did that get them? How about their 12th straight playoff absence, five straight losses the first week of September, decreased attendance and the firing of a general manager. Absolutely terrible.
Ah, but that GM firing was the move to turn things around, right? The 2005 free agent market would be the Phils stomping grounds! Just check out the names signed or traded this past winter: Edgar Renteria, Paul LoDuca, Jose Valentin, Billy Wagner, Carlos Delgado, Brian Lawrence and this guy named Soriano. Now take a look at the studs the Phillies have added: Sal Fasano. Julio Santana. Abraham O. Nunez. I’m getting chills just writing this.
The Philadelphia Flyers
Hock-ey? Your Canadian ways scare me. I'm just a sports writer! I fell on some ice, and later got thawed out by scientists. But there is one thing I do know – we sports writers don’t care for your flashy, modern inventions.
The Philadelphia Eagles
I’m trying my absolute best to be positive about this team. Really, I am. I’d like to think that Sal Paolantonio really hit the nail on the head in an article on the 2005 Eagles a few weeks ago, when he likened their situation to the 2004 Seahawks. Take away full team control (has this EVER worked?) from Andy Reid, bring in a mediator between the players on and off the field, bury the memories of TO like a bad Vegas weekend, get healthy, grab yourself a free agent No. 1 (fine, one-and-a-half) wideout, and a playmaker in the draft. And after you’ve done all that – pray.
The current NFL is one of parity and shortened windows of opportunity, and there’s a scary feeling somewhere deep (though, rising) down that this team may have had their window shut. I really don’t want to think that any team with the current pieces in place, and a few bounces in their direction couldn’t make noise in 2006. But then again, we’re talking about a team from Philadelphia here, aren’t we.
But that’s the curse of being a Philly sports fans. We know what we’re getting, but we hop in the car and hit the highway anyway. After all, do we really have a choice?
Dave McElwee is a contributing writer for Atomic Sports Media and is the general manager of the San Diego Siege women's basketball team. He can be reached at Dave.McElwee@atomicsportsmedia.com.
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Sports are our solace, our respite from reality. They provide us with an exciting, entertaining and often emotional way to fill our free time (and perhaps a few lazy afternoons at work). Rooting for your favorite teams can be an immensely rewarding experience. Unless you're from Philadelphia, as Dave McElwee explains.
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I really enjoy a good road trip.
And to be sure, I’ve been on a number of them over the years. Some as simple as quick jaunts to New York or Baltimore or DC from my former home outside of Philadelphia. Others like the one I made a few years back across the country, and yet others that really are meant to be discussed at another time and another place. And for the most part, they’ve been entertaining. If it serves a purpose like traveling toward a weekend of fun, or if perhaps I’m hired to run a tractor trailer full of beer across county lines with a pesky sheriff in hot pursuit, well, I’m all about it.
But there are also plenty of types of road trips that we all hate. The one where your job makes you drive two hours each way for another policies conference. Or any trip to the mall at Christmas. Or a trip across town in Los Angeles.
And that all got me to thinking. You know that feeling you get right before having to go on one of those dreaded road trips? That you-know-you-can’t-get-out-of-it-no-matter-how-many-different-excuses-you-come-up-with feeling? You know you’re stuck, and you have to begrudgingly push through the next few hours knowing the end result will likely be nothing more than a brief pause before you turn around to do it all over again.
Well, that’s how I feel about being a Philadelphia sports fan. The way I’ve felt the past two decades is no different than getting a call from your boss Sunday night telling you to pack your bags, ’cause you’re headed to the middle of nowhere on Monday with the annoying guy from Logistics. You are going on that trip, the guy from Logistics is going to talk your ear off, and you know there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
And here’s why: My grand kids will be invited to spring training before any of the four major sports teams in Philadelphia win a title. Yet I still keep watching and writing articles and buying jerseys. And there is nothing I can do about it.
Let’s look at the usual suspects:
The Philadelphia 76ers
The 76ers will absolutely, hands down, unequivocally, I’m not kidding you, I-wish-they-had-lines-for-betting-against-teams-to-win-it-all-in-Vegas, never, ever, never win an NBA Championship with Allen Iverson.
And you know what? That really sucks, because I LOVE A.I. Love him. Would wear corn rows and that cool arm sleeve if I wouldn’t be tempted to punch myself in the face afterwards. It’s just that his style of play will win only if he is teamed with a rugged big man who doesn’t need the ball. And those guys simply don’t exist anymore. Iverson needs to take 25 shots per night to produce, and again, I’m ok with that. It’s like the guy who needs to talk to 10 girls before buying one a drink. Some people just need to warm up. But if you lack a rebounding, shot-blocking, outlet-passing presence in the paint, teams will do exactly what they do now to Iverson: Let him score 40, hold everyone else to 40 and win the game.
On a side note, I hope and pray he retires no later than 36. If you thought Michael Jordan looked pitiful playing when the game had passed him by, can you even imagine Allen once that third step (he’s just getting out of his first-step quickness, and that second gear won’t hold up too much longer) is gone? Once he looses the ability to create shots…well, I don’t even want to think about it.
The Philadelphia Phillies
In an AP announcement a few weeks back, the Frillies clocked in at (ooh, how convenient) fifth in the Major Leagues in total team salary. FIFTH. And where did that get them? How about their 12th straight playoff absence, five straight losses the first week of September, decreased attendance and the firing of a general manager. Absolutely terrible.
Ah, but that GM firing was the move to turn things around, right? The 2005 free agent market would be the Phils stomping grounds! Just check out the names signed or traded this past winter: Edgar Renteria, Paul LoDuca, Jose Valentin, Billy Wagner, Carlos Delgado, Brian Lawrence and this guy named Soriano. Now take a look at the studs the Phillies have added: Sal Fasano. Julio Santana. Abraham O. Nunez. I’m getting chills just writing this.
The Philadelphia Flyers
Hock-ey? Your Canadian ways scare me. I'm just a sports writer! I fell on some ice, and later got thawed out by scientists. But there is one thing I do know – we sports writers don’t care for your flashy, modern inventions.
The Philadelphia Eagles
I’m trying my absolute best to be positive about this team. Really, I am. I’d like to think that Sal Paolantonio really hit the nail on the head in an article on the 2005 Eagles a few weeks ago, when he likened their situation to the 2004 Seahawks. Take away full team control (has this EVER worked?) from Andy Reid, bring in a mediator between the players on and off the field, bury the memories of TO like a bad Vegas weekend, get healthy, grab yourself a free agent No. 1 (fine, one-and-a-half) wideout, and a playmaker in the draft. And after you’ve done all that – pray.
The current NFL is one of parity and shortened windows of opportunity, and there’s a scary feeling somewhere deep (though, rising) down that this team may have had their window shut. I really don’t want to think that any team with the current pieces in place, and a few bounces in their direction couldn’t make noise in 2006. But then again, we’re talking about a team from Philadelphia here, aren’t we.
But that’s the curse of being a Philly sports fans. We know what we’re getting, but we hop in the car and hit the highway anyway. After all, do we really have a choice?
Dave McElwee is a contributing writer for Atomic Sports Media and is the general manager of the San Diego Siege women's basketball team. He can be reached at Dave.McElwee@atomicsportsmedia.com.