I Want My MTV
http://www.atomicsportsmedia.com/articles/594/1/I-Want-My-MTV/I-Want-My-MTV.html
Nick Kanios
Nick Kanios is a journalism major at San Jose State and will be hosting a radio show in the spring. He's also a die-hard Golden State Warrior fan and therefore deserves your pity.
By Nick Kanios
Published on 09/26/2006
Remember when MTV showed videos? Atomic Sports columnist Nick Kanios does, and he longs for those days. Sadly, however, MTV isn\'t turning back the clock, and another of his favorite channels is going down a similar path.
When I was 13 I got the chicken pox. They say the older you get the worse it is for you, and after that experience, I’d assume it would have killed me at the age of 25. It was hell.
I barely had the strength to make it to the bathroom. It took me about 10 minutes to walk eight feet down the hall. Had my dad offered me a bedpan I probably would have accepted. I was so weak, I didn’t shower once in that two-week span. I was stuck in a bed, TV my source of entertainment. MTV was my only solace from the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. when absolutely nothing is on. I watched countless videos inter-spliced with timeless episodes of “Beavis and Butt-head.” Ten years ago MTV was as much a staple in my daily viewing as ESPN.
Had someone told me back then, “Hey, MTV is coming out with a new channel that plays NOTHING but videos,” I would have said “Uh, yeah, it’s called MTV.” MTV was MUSIC television back then, now it has become a network of second-rate dating shows, bad reality TV, and Wilmer Valderrama. I can honestly say I don’t even know what channel MTV is on anymore.
But I digress. You may ask, why wasn’t I watching ESPN during my stint on the DL with the pox? Simple. That was the week the ESPN was showing the National Spelling Bee.
Like MTV, ESPN was an experiment of a network. Would people really watch a whole station devoted to sports? They did, and it worked. And now ESPN is moving from what made it so successful in the first place. As MTV abandoned music, slowly ESPN is following course with sports.
ESPN still broadcasts “The Bee,” as well as other non-sports such as poker, billiards, even darts. It’s like some ESPN execs went to a pub the night before a big meeting and, while intoxicated, said, “It would be pretty cool to show this stuff on the air.”
Another growing trend is ESPN parading minors on national TV. It really started with LeBron James a few years ago, but recently they went so far as showing the high school softball championship. Really? Unless Jose Conseco’s daughter is on one of the teams, I don’t see the national appeal in that.
Remember when MTV showed videos? Atomic Sports columnist Nick Kanios does, and he longs for those days. Sadly, however, MTV isn\'t turning back the clock, and another of his favorite channels is going down a similar path.
I Want My MTV
When I was 13 I got the chicken pox. They say the older you get the worse it is for you, and after that experience, I’d assume it would have killed me at the age of 25. It was hell.
I barely had the strength to make it to the bathroom. It took me about 10 minutes to walk eight feet down the hall. Had my dad offered me a bedpan I probably would have accepted. I was so weak, I didn’t shower once in that two-week span. I was stuck in a bed, TV my source of entertainment. MTV was my only solace from the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. when absolutely nothing is on. I watched countless videos inter-spliced with timeless episodes of “Beavis and Butt-head.” Ten years ago MTV was as much a staple in my daily viewing as ESPN.
Had someone told me back then, “Hey, MTV is coming out with a new channel that plays NOTHING but videos,” I would have said “Uh, yeah, it’s called MTV.” MTV was MUSIC television back then, now it has become a network of second-rate dating shows, bad reality TV, and Wilmer Valderrama. I can honestly say I don’t even know what channel MTV is on anymore.
But I digress. You may ask, why wasn’t I watching ESPN during my stint on the DL with the pox? Simple. That was the week the ESPN was showing the National Spelling Bee.
Like MTV, ESPN was an experiment of a network. Would people really watch a whole station devoted to sports? They did, and it worked. And now ESPN is moving from what made it so successful in the first place. As MTV abandoned music, slowly ESPN is following course with sports.
ESPN still broadcasts “The Bee,” as well as other non-sports such as poker, billiards, even darts. It’s like some ESPN execs went to a pub the night before a big meeting and, while intoxicated, said, “It would be pretty cool to show this stuff on the air.”
Another growing trend is ESPN parading minors on national TV. It really started with LeBron James a few years ago, but recently they went so far as showing the high school softball championship. Really? Unless Jose Conseco’s daughter is on one of the teams, I don’t see the national appeal in that.
I Want My MTV
But moving on, at least youngsters playing sports is still sports; and Poker, Darts, Bowling, they are at least competitive games, the younger cousin of sport. So I could see how ESPN can claim to still be a sports network while airing this, but it gets harder defending the dramatic shows and movies.
I’ll admit, I was a huge fan of “Playmakers,” but I’d prefer it aired on HBO than ESPN. “Tilt” was just an awful piece of garbage. I remember hearing rumors they were going to bring it back for a second season, but thankfully nothing materialized. The ESPN movies, which showcased Bear Bryant, Roger Bannister, Dale Earnhardt and Bob Knight never enticed me. I tried to give the Bear Bryant and Bob Knight movies a chance, but both bored me to tears during the stretches I sat through. The Bear Bryant movie was nothing short of a snuff film. All the scenes were of young men brutalized and getting injured or crying in pain or convulsing in bed at night. The entire time I kept thinking “Dear lord how does this make him a great coach?” I’m assuming Bryant did more than torture his players, and I’m also assuming ESPN did SOMETHING to portray that, but after the third separated shoulder and fifth concussion, I had enough.
Then there is the Little League World Series. There is so much wrong with televising this event nationally, it’s hard to know where to begin, but I’ll try to pick a starting point. First of all, there is no positive effect that it can have on the children playing. Either they botch a play in front of the entire nation and become punch lines, or they become local heroes at way too young an age. And look at how these kids act now: You can tell these kids think they are just one step below the major leagues, and have a swagger no pre-teen should even think of. The purity of the game was lost when ESPN had to put the Little League World Series on a five second delay thanks to a foul mouthed player and a slap-happy coach.
I mean seriously, the LLWS needs a five second delay? What next? A wet t-shirt contest at Oral Roberts? Soccer mom cage fighting? Is nothing sacred? When did sports change from “family fun” to rated R? I’d like to live in a world where I could have my kids turn on ESPN at any time and not hear Patrick Denehey telling a ref “That call was bulls***!” Or see Cuba Gooding Jr.’s younger brother snorting coke off a stripper’s backside.
I’ll admit, I was a huge fan of “Playmakers,” but I’d prefer it aired on HBO than ESPN. “Tilt” was just an awful piece of garbage. I remember hearing rumors they were going to bring it back for a second season, but thankfully nothing materialized. The ESPN movies, which showcased Bear Bryant, Roger Bannister, Dale Earnhardt and Bob Knight never enticed me. I tried to give the Bear Bryant and Bob Knight movies a chance, but both bored me to tears during the stretches I sat through. The Bear Bryant movie was nothing short of a snuff film. All the scenes were of young men brutalized and getting injured or crying in pain or convulsing in bed at night. The entire time I kept thinking “Dear lord how does this make him a great coach?” I’m assuming Bryant did more than torture his players, and I’m also assuming ESPN did SOMETHING to portray that, but after the third separated shoulder and fifth concussion, I had enough.
Then there is the Little League World Series. There is so much wrong with televising this event nationally, it’s hard to know where to begin, but I’ll try to pick a starting point. First of all, there is no positive effect that it can have on the children playing. Either they botch a play in front of the entire nation and become punch lines, or they become local heroes at way too young an age. And look at how these kids act now: You can tell these kids think they are just one step below the major leagues, and have a swagger no pre-teen should even think of. The purity of the game was lost when ESPN had to put the Little League World Series on a five second delay thanks to a foul mouthed player and a slap-happy coach.
I mean seriously, the LLWS needs a five second delay? What next? A wet t-shirt contest at Oral Roberts? Soccer mom cage fighting? Is nothing sacred? When did sports change from “family fun” to rated R? I’d like to live in a world where I could have my kids turn on ESPN at any time and not hear Patrick Denehey telling a ref “That call was bulls***!” Or see Cuba Gooding Jr.’s younger brother snorting coke off a stripper’s backside.
I Want My MTV
But all of that; the swearing, the non-sports, the minors being showcased; none of it compares to the hot dog eating competition. How sad is it that I know who Kobayashi is, yet couldn’t name you the top prospect in my favorite baseball team’s farm system? And honestly, competitive eating? Are you serious? How about competitive smoking? Or competitive lap dances? Would you really want your kid to watch in awe as some elephant-looking guy wolfs down 25 pounds of processed meat and say, “Now that’s who I want to be!” It’s not a sport; it’s a circus sideshow. Competitive beer drinkers make similar role models… think about that.
Of course, let’s also not forget the reality show where Dick Butkis ruins a high school football team’s season, the reality show where Stu Scott ruins a half-hour of my life helping to select a no-talent hack to host the 2 a.m.-to-6 a.m. time slot on ESPN News, or the utter trainwreck that is “Stump the Schwab.” At least MTV has the decency to at least fill the screen with attractive women when they show crap like that during prime viewing hours.
Were I in charge, everything I mentioned previously would be banned from ESPN. What would I show in its place? More sports. Crazy idea, huh?
For starters, I’d show the English Premiere League. Simply, the MLS is to the EPL as the German basketball leagues are to the NBA. And if you’re a young basketball fan in Düsseldorf, would you rather watch Berlin take on Frankfurt, or the Dallas Mavs take on the Houston Rockets? If people are really willing to watch minor league soccer, they might as well see the best of the best.
I’d also show minor league baseball. Something like once a week, profile a top minor leaguer. This season you could have seen guys like Howie Kendrick and Jered Weaver before they came up. Each week show one of those types of player’s games, as well as a profile on them. Get a little human-interest story going on. This way the casual fan won’t be so surprised when some kid named Francisco leads the AL in ERA.
And there is nothing wrong with analysis shows. Sports Center, NFL Live, Baseball Tonight and NBA Fastbreak, it all works. Ten years ago it felt like half of ESPN’s scheduling was Sports Center, and you know what? I had no problems with that. I mean, that is WHY we turn to ESPN in the first place, right?
So don’t be surprised if in five years someone comes up to you and says, “did you hear? ESPN is starting an all sports channel for a mere 20 bucks a month.”
Man, I sure miss those music videos.
Of course, let’s also not forget the reality show where Dick Butkis ruins a high school football team’s season, the reality show where Stu Scott ruins a half-hour of my life helping to select a no-talent hack to host the 2 a.m.-to-6 a.m. time slot on ESPN News, or the utter trainwreck that is “Stump the Schwab.” At least MTV has the decency to at least fill the screen with attractive women when they show crap like that during prime viewing hours.
Were I in charge, everything I mentioned previously would be banned from ESPN. What would I show in its place? More sports. Crazy idea, huh?
For starters, I’d show the English Premiere League. Simply, the MLS is to the EPL as the German basketball leagues are to the NBA. And if you’re a young basketball fan in Düsseldorf, would you rather watch Berlin take on Frankfurt, or the Dallas Mavs take on the Houston Rockets? If people are really willing to watch minor league soccer, they might as well see the best of the best.
I’d also show minor league baseball. Something like once a week, profile a top minor leaguer. This season you could have seen guys like Howie Kendrick and Jered Weaver before they came up. Each week show one of those types of player’s games, as well as a profile on them. Get a little human-interest story going on. This way the casual fan won’t be so surprised when some kid named Francisco leads the AL in ERA.
And there is nothing wrong with analysis shows. Sports Center, NFL Live, Baseball Tonight and NBA Fastbreak, it all works. Ten years ago it felt like half of ESPN’s scheduling was Sports Center, and you know what? I had no problems with that. I mean, that is WHY we turn to ESPN in the first place, right?
So don’t be surprised if in five years someone comes up to you and says, “did you hear? ESPN is starting an all sports channel for a mere 20 bucks a month.”
Man, I sure miss those music videos.