Kobe…Kobe…Kobe!

I hear the cheers loud. I hear the cheers clearly. I do not, however, hear them from the Staple Center in Los Angeles. The acoustics vibrating the seats are at the United Center in Chicago, Illinois -- the house that Michael built.

The notoriously slow-starting Bulls are 1-6 at the start of a four-game west-coast swing that promises to deposit them back east at 2-8 and a good five games behind the Detroit Pistons in the Central Division race.

No one who remotely follows the NBA is unaware of the tension between Bryant and the Lakers. The situation is there. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t matter who the main perpetrator is in the conflict. The only thing that matters is he wants out, and they don’t want the door to hit him in the backside on his way to wherever they ship him.

The crime here is that both the Lakers and Bulls are wasting valuable time in getting a deal done. Kobe apparently doesn’t mind coming to the Bulls and sketchy reports had the deal hung up only in the Bulls unwillingness to incorporate Luol Deng into the deal. The affect on L.A. is unknown because the Lakers are pretty much a one-man-show and he, as always, is showing. Since GM John Paxson squashed the rumors earlier this month, one could assume the Bulls are just taking some time in getting things together.

I’m certain both Paxson and Mitch Kupchak are more intelligent than I, though recent history isn’t on their side in the argument. Let me dumb it down for the fellas. If I have one guy who happens to be the league’s best player, and he doesn’t want to be on my team, and I also have a severe lack of depth, maybe I should trade him for multiple players. If I have multiple average-to-good bodies and no one around to consistently take over a game, maybe I should trade some excess for that one piece.

The Bulls are running a multi-million dollar marketing campaign to attract season ticket holders:

“In 1987 thousands of fans almost bought season tickets. ‘I’ll get them next year,’ they said. Season tickets were not available for the next 13 years and 618 consecutive sellouts. The season ticket waiting list grew to more than 25,000 names. Today a new sellout streak has started, now at 49 games. Don’t let history repeat itself. Now’s the time to get your season tickets…while you still can.”

Come on! What is different about the Bulls team than has been the past few seasons? Joe Smith? Again, another body. Not quite the equivalent to MJ, Pip, Horace Grant and company! You want butts in seats? Go get the NBA’s marquee name and your seats will be sold within the hour.

As long as the Bulls don’t have to completely mortgage the future any move is a good one. If I’m the Bulls, I offer Ben Gordon, Ben Wallace and a first-round draft pick if necessary to get it done immediately. That gives the Lakers a legitimate big man they lack and a scoring two guard they’d be losing and a high-round draft pick to go with the likely middle-rounder they’ll garner on their own accord. The Bulls would keep a good chunk of the roster in tact and be ready to compete immediately for the Eastern Conference championship.

If that load’s too light for the Lakers, work it out. Give anyone; just don’t give more than three pieces. Why anyone? None of them are currently or ever going to be as good as Kobe Bryant in his prime. What would any team have traded for MJ circa 1995? Anything and everything!

The Lakers made the right move in keeping Bryant over Shaq. The Diesel is old and slow and couldn’t carry a team for a week let alone a season now. They failed, however, in supplying talent around him to win.

Paxson knows the score. He shot threes about 50 yards away in what is now a parking lot to win three titles. He knows he has a potential Jordan-Pippen combo in Bryant-Deng, who the Lakers apparently covet. The Lakers want the world in return and will learn, at some point, that you probably don’t get fair market value for a disgruntled superstar. See Allen Iverson and Kevin Garnett. If it takes trading Deng, do it! Don’t you think the Bulls become exponentially more attractive to free agent suitors with Kobe there to take the heat off?

Come on Bulls, there’s thousands of us just waiting to chomp up high-priced season tickets once this trade is officially announced!