George Bush, Barack Obama, Bill Belichick, Hillary Clinton, Jessica Simpson, Elvis….. Your boys took a hell of a beating this season.

We came on a hope and a prayer, we sent an inexperienced Englishman with no knowledge and no hope because it’s the taking part that counts, and then he stuck it to you, big time.

Of course I am talking about the epic war that took place in ASM’s inaugural fantasy football league. Twelve writers decided they knew better than each other and laid their $25 down (well, ten of them did, if the other two could pony up that would be great).

And somehow at the end of it all an Englishman whose knowledge at the start of the season was scratchy at best, who took Deuce McAllister in the second round of the draft, ended up king of the castle. And to be fair I’m not sure how either!

The Draft

The first and probably most important factor in winning was that I received the No. 1 draft pick -- or LaDanian Tomlinson if you prefer. But other than his LTness I did make some solid selections. Joey Galloway in Round 7 paid off big style and “Big Ben” in Round 11 proved to be the steal of the league.

I also made some particularly useless choices. How about the aforementioned Deuce, Donald Driver in Round 5 before T.J Houshmandzadeh and Randy Moss, Jeff Wilkins in Round 10 (yes, I now know you don’t select a kicker early), Bo Scaife as my tight end and the particularly useless Steve “My Wheels Have Fallen Off” McNair? I’m still crediting worst choice of the draft to Jim Ludes who took Rex Grossman in the final round, and I’m still entertained by whomever called him “the noodle arm” at the time.

The Opening Act

As with all good rookies, aside from Lewis Hamilton in Formula One, I stumbled out of the gate and looked very, very lost. The first four games saw me take a terrible 0-4 record with only one of those being a close match-up. I did, however, rid myself of Scaife, so it wasn’t all bad, every cloud and all that. Following my early weeks, however, I was never to score less than 80 points in a week or have anyone named Deuce or Bo get anywhere near my starting lineup.

The Resurrection

Many people would have considered the Englishman down and out at this point and I would have agreed with them. I reasoned with myself that $25 was only £12.50 and it was nothing to worry about. I did, however, decide not to give in as there’s always hope! Lo and behold in Week 5, I (somehow) managed to scrape a win with Jon Kitna as my starting quarterback, an experiment I didn’t repeat for the rest of the season. I then managed to string another four wins together in a row and after Week 9, I found myself above .500 for the first time in the season. I had also, stupidly, gotten rid of David Garrard and added Eric Johnson and Kenton Keith to my squad. So I did make plenty of rookie mistakes.

The Stretch

After going 2-2 down the stretch, I found myself with a 7-6 record and a low seed in the playoffs. I also released Fred Taylor at some point around this time, another terrible decision. Oh and I would like to apologize for my trade offers: In retrospect, John, I wouldn’t call Chris Henry for Kellen Winslow a fair trade either but I am glad I didn’t let you have Jamal Lewis.

The Play-offs

I started my play-offs by dispatching of John McCabe, the site owner who didn’t agree with my trading acumen, mainly on the back of LT, Big Ben and Lewis. I then warded off Nic Wood, the top overall seed, in semi-finals on the back of LT, Big Ben and Lewis. (See a pattern here?)

The Fantasy Bowl

Week 16 of the regular season, an inspired decision by someone thinking about how Week 17 would be ruined by rested players, was the weekend allotted to the conclusion of our fantasy year. I would be going toe-to-toe with my longtime editor David Hale, or Ron Mexico’s Bad Newz Kennel is you prefer. And of course I won on the back of LT, Big Ben and Lewis, oh and the Seahawks D/ST.

The Pay-off

Therefore I won the satisfaction, of course, and the cash prize which amounted to $155 for first place, or sadly £72.97 after Paypal and the exchange rate took a bite out of my winnings. When I spent a year in the U.S. last year the exchange rate was my friend, this is the first time that it has bitten me on the ass.

The conclusion

I may have taken down 11 Americans who claim to know what they are on about, (and I will be lording that fact over them until next year), but I will of course fall flat on my face during my inevitable sophomore slump. However, until then, this is payback for all the people who kept bringing up some silly war we lost on your soil and mocked me for how I pronounced peanut butter during my time there. To be fair it doesn’t matter how I say it, it still tastes awful -- as does the defeat suffered by your nation this year. I’m sure you will all enjoy the revenge next season but until then you can chalk another one up for the underdog.